She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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