i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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