this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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