She's JV to your varsity
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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