I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
