Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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