these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
