He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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