I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
