Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
