he wants to bone in the snuggie
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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