I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I intend to get homeless drunk
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
