did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
