How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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