we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I will pee on everything he values.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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