Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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