My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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