I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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