sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
