Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Panties = found
Randomize
