I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
