ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
