they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
FUCK WHALES
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
