Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
