I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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