What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
