I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
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