Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
