she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
