That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
