Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
