covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
