honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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