What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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