i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
