just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
