She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
