it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
This is the high leading the old right now
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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