its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
