i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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