I love black thongs
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
