Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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