I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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