Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
