Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
