hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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