We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
