i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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