Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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