i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
